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“I was playing decent before I started talking to coaches. Once I did, my scores went up. I feel really stressed.”— Prospective Student-Athlete In many ways, this is almost inevitable. No matter when you begin the recruiting process, there is almost always a shift in mentality and expectations. Even if playing college golf has been a long-term goal, it’s difficult to avoid the added pressure that comes once the process becomes real. Recruiting is meant to be challenging and uncomfortable at times—it’s part of navigating a major life decision about your future. For some recruits, that stress doesn’t show up as much in their scores. They may have already worked through certain stages of physical and mental development before the process begins. In those cases, recruiting can actually fuel performance, and the stress shows up more in the decision-making phase—choosing between schools, programs, and opportunities. For others, [...]

It’s often reported that when young athletes are asked about their least favorite moment in sports—or even why they eventually quit—one of the most common answers is “the car ride home.” After a long day on the golf course, everyone is tired. Emotions are high, and while it may feel like the perfect moment to break down your daughter’s round, it’s usually not. Let her decide if—and when—she wants to talk about it. She’s already replaying every shot in her mind, especially if she didn’t play well. If you do say anything, keep it positive.Let her know you enjoyed watching her compete, regardless of the outcome. If you feel you need to ask questions, focus on effort and attitude—not score.Ask whether she gave her best effort.Ask if she felt she showed good sportsmanship.If she says yes, then your response is simple: “I’m proud of you.” There will [...]

“Do not initiate communication with a college coach before your daughter does.” This reminder is so important. As a parent, it’s perfectly acceptable—and expected—to build a relationship with a coach during the process. Asking questions, discussing finances, and understanding logistics are all part of your role. After all, you are handing your daughter off to this person for four years, and a coach knows you’ll have things to clarify. But the initial contact and the majority of communication must come directly from your daughter. She should be the one writing the emails, making the phone calls, scheduling video chats, and carrying the conversations during visits. Coaches want to hear from her—not because they don’t value parents, but because they’re evaluating maturity, initiative, communication skills, and independence. When parents take over, two things happen: It hurts her recruiting chancesCoaches immediately question whether she is ready for the expectations [...]